With Christmas just days away, and 2018 coming in hot right behind it, I keep finding myself reflecting on this past year. While I know it’s been a rough one in terms of world happenings, from a personal standpoint 2017 has easily been one of my favorite years ever. Mainly because so many things have finally started to click for me…things that have been years in the making. And, honestly, I owe it all to one thing. One little thing that we all have the ability to create and possess.
Trust me when I say I used to have zero self confidence – zilch. I think we’ve all been there at some point. For me, it was my 20s. For whatever reason, I spent that chapter of my life super confused and full of self doubt (probably even self hatred). I could’t even make a phone call to a client without frantically worrying that I would say the wrong thing. I’m so relieved that phase of my life is in the past, but I didn’t just flip a switch. I’ve worked really hard on my mental state, which is what I want to talk more about today. Because, honestly, I don’t think any of my goals would have come to fruition this past year had I not gotten my head straight. No, I KNOW they wouldn’t have.
Through a gradual build in self confidence, this year I had the guts to start this blog (even though I feared people would perceive me as vain/materialistic), negotiate a higher salary at my full time gig (even though I feared rejection) and substantially grow a small business I started a few years back (even though I always second guess my own abilities). I’m telling you…our minds are powerful tools, and they can work for or against us. But if you actively work at building your self confidence, you can undoubtedly live the life you dream of. Here are 6 key areas I’ve worked on throughout my own personal self confidence journey. If you’re struggling with self confidence, I challenge you to try to improve in one or all of these areas. I have full confidence you’ll end up in a better place – mentally and physically!
How to Build Self Confidence & Crush it in 2018
Take control of your environment:
Or, rather, set up your environment for success. They say that you’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with, so surround yourself with like-minded people (ideally positive, motivated ones). Break ties to those who don’t bring out the best in you, whether they’re family or not.
In addition to filtering the people you spend time with, filter the places you frequent. Negative environments come in a ton of different shapes and sizes. Know when you’re in a place that’s not great for your mind, body and soul and get out. Or just proactively stay away from them in general!
Set several small, but achievable goals:
Breaking up your big goals into smaller chunks helps to create a path to the bigger picture. Doing this will allow you to focus on one step at a time, keeping you on track, but also giving you the opportunity to celebrate small milestones along the way. Those little celebrations are great reminders that you’re well on your way to meeting your goal – whatever it may be. They provide a nice little confidence boost, too!
If you want to be something or do something, if you don’t know WTF your “purpose is”, START LEARNING! Soak in as much knowledge as you can. In my opinion, knowledge is the absolute BEST tour guide life has to offer. The more you know, the better decisions you can make, conversations you can hold, opportunities you can take advantage of, and so on. All of these things will undoubtedly boost your self confidence and put you on the path to success.
Try new things:
This kind of goes and hand-in-hand with education. The more you try, the more you learn about yourself. And the more you learn about yourself, the better you can confidently determine your course of action when it comes to your career, lifestyle and so on. I’ve learned that figuring out what you don’t like is just as important as figuring out what you do. So long as you’re trying new things, you’ll grow more comfortable with and confident in yourself and your decisions.
One thing I used to do that would completely crush my self confidence was play the comparison game. I would compare my life, my decisions, EVERYTHING to those of others, without recognizing that my purpose, wants and needs were all very different. In the last year, year and a half, I’ve done a better job of being grateful for who I am and where I’m at. I’ve accepted that my journey looks different because my desired end result is different. That’s saved me a lot of anxiety and tears, let me tell you!! LOL!
Take care of yourself:
Exercise often and eat well. When you’re treating your body favorably, you’re going to achieve favorable results – on the inside and outside! Add “dressing well” here, too. I don’t know about you guys, but putting on an outfit I feel good in always puts an extra little pep in my step. Although it’s often perceived as such, there’s nothing vain or cocky about creating a more confident self – internally and externally.
While all of these things might be easier said than done, I promise you that they all work in synergy to build confidence, help you crush your goals and ultimately live the life you’ve been imaginigng. That is, so long as you work at them!
What makes you feel confident? Have you struggled with confidence in the past? Are you currently? Let’s take this conversation to the comments!